E Pluribus Unum

"There was a Republican presidential debate last night. The Republican candidates looked like the evil law firm in a John Grisham movie."
---David Letterman

"While visiting troops in Iraq on Thursday, Vice President Dick Cheney told them that he knows they are suffering hardships from extended deployments, but the longer stays are vital to the mission. Then, still pointing his sidearm, he slowly backed into his plane and left."
---Amy Poehler

"The elections are heating up. In a recent interview, John McCain said the last music he bought was The Beach Boys, while Mitt Romney said the last music he bought was Roy Orbison. Apparently, McCain and Romney are both running for president in 1964.'
---Conan O'Brien

"New Rule: You can't send the National Guard to Iraq and then claim it's still here. The helicopters, the Humvees, the men... Like Dorothy and Toto, they're not in Kansas anymore. Sorry, Mr. President, but the last documented case of a National Guardsman able to be in two places at one time...was you. "
---Bill Maher

(HT to Bill in Portland Maine)