Paging Prince Bandar!
Dean Esmay likes to refer to your faithful narrator as a "reliable Bush-basher."
What. Ever.
Recently, and in response to the upcoming visit of Prince Bandar to POTUS' ranch in Crawford, he posted the following question on E Pluribus Unum:
When it comes to meetings with a Saudi ambassador or member of the Saudi Royal Family, President Bush should:
A) Refuse to meet with him.
B) Meet with him, but not smile.
C) Meet with him, but poke him in the eye, sock him in the gut, then bonk him on the head with a monkey wrench.
D) Meet with him, but pull out a gun, shoot at his feet, and scream, "Dance, towel-head, dance!"
E) Other.
Once again, if you choose E), you must explain, in twenty-five words or less, what "other" consists of.
Well, it's more than 25 words, but here's what George W. Bush should say:
"Mr. Protocol Droid, please make sure that there are NO photographs of me meeting with Prince Bandar. Bring him in the side door. Bring him in thru a secret tunnel. If there is NO secret tunnel, dig one, now.
"I do NOT want to see photos of me smiling and shaking this guy's hand, or any other Saudi, because every time I do this, it shows up on that SOB Ara Rubyan's blog.
"It's an embarrassment.
"...and I figure sooner or later, the DNC is going to use the photos in TV ads during the next Presidential election cycle.
"Now watch this drive."
Well. That appararently isn't enough because Mr. Esmay, ever the reliable Bush apologist, has now posed a follow-up question:
What should President Bush do:
A) Declare war on the House of Saud.
B) Close the US Embassy in Riyadh, expel the Saudi ambassador, and state that the House of Saud is our enemy, but not make war on them.
C) Make demands, but not back the demands up with any threat of force or retaliation.
D) Declare the House of Saud our enemy and do nothing else.
E) Other
If you choose E) you must explain, IN TWENTY-FIVE WORDS OR LESS, what the other option is.
I suggest that if you cannot forthrightly answer this question, directly and without evasion, you are nothing but a kvetching, irrational child, and should shut the hell up and let the grownups get on with fighting the war. "Kvetching, irrational child...?" He makes it sound like a bad thing.
That said, here's what POTUS should say to Colin Powell:
"Mr. Secretary, you are more knowledgeable on this than me, but it would seem that the State Department needs to begin doing that kabuki-style dance that signals EXTREME annoyance and displeasure, beyond the normal course of events.
"Mr. Secretary we need to signal our displeasure. We need to do it in a way that will draw diplomatic and media attention.
"We need to do something that will move us one significant step in a new direction. But that direction cannot be to a point of no return.
"However, it must be a signal that our displeasure is not just business as usual...
"We are not having a lover's spat...
"We need to do more than just kiss and make up.
"Mr. Secretary, we do not need to specifically state what happens next, after that first step. The step alone must be significant enough that it sends a clear signal that we mean business.
"Perhaps closing the embassy is a 5-step process; if so, maybe we need to take that first step, now.
"Or perhaps expelling the Saudi ambassador is a 5-step process; if so, maybe we need to take the first step, now.
"Please get back to me. You've probably been watching me and Rummy and Condi down in Crawford; if so, you know stuff is happening.
"Please get back to me ASAP with specific options.
"Yours Truly,
"George W. Bush"
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