Nasreddin Hoja

Today, completely by chance, I came across a name that I hadn't heard since my childhood: Nasreddin Hoja. My father and (especially) my mother used to love to tell stories in which Hodja usually did or said something that seemed stupid or illogical, but upon closer examination turned out to be very wise in a kind of Zen, flip-absurdist, Marx Brothers way.

Nasreddin sat on a river bank when someone shouted to him from the opposite side:
- "Hey! how do I get across?"
- "You are across!" Nasreddin shouted back.

I hadn't thought about him in, oh, decades but as soon as I tripped over his name (in a profile of Dennis Kucinich of all people -- no, wait: that's actually perfect) it all came back to me.

Once, Nasreddin was invited to deliver a sermon. When he got on the pulpit, he asked "Do you know what I am going to say?" The audience replied "NO", so he announced "I have no desire to speak to people who don't even know what I will be talking about" and he left.

The people felt embarrassed and called him back again the next day. This time when he asked the same question, the people replied "YES". So Nasreddin said, "Well, since you already know what I am going to say, I won't waste any more of your time" and he left.

Now the people were really perplexed. They decided to try one more time and once again invited the Mullah to speak the following week. Once again he asked the same question - "Do you know what I am going to say?" Now the people were prepared and so half of them answered "YES" while the other half replied "NO". So Nasreddin said "The half who know what I am going to say, tell it to the other half" and he left!

According to Wikipedia:

Nasreddin (Persian ملا نصرالدین, Arabic: جحا transl.: Joĥa ,نصرالدين meaning "Victory of the Faith," Turkish Nasreddin Hoca, Bosnian Nasrudin hodža) was a satirical sufi figure who lived during the Middle Ages (around 13th century), somewhere in Greater Khorasan,[1] under the Seljuq rule. Many nations of the Near, Middle East and Central Asia claim the Nasreddin as their own, (Afghans, Iranians, Turks, and Uzbeks).

[Note: ...and apparently the Armenians as well.]

His name is spelled differently in various cultures and is often preceded or followed by titles "Hodja", "Mullah", or "Effendi" (see section "Name variants"). Nasreddin was a populist philosopher and wise man, remembered for his funny stories and anecdotes. In China he is known as Afanti, a folk hero of the Uyghurs (a Turkic people).

That's quite a heritage. Anyway, finding him after all these years was quite a treat.

Nasreddin Hoja (hoja means "teacher" in Turkish) is both crafty and naive, wise and foolish, a trickster and the butt of tricks.

Dude, he's Bugs Bunny!

"How old are you, Hoja?"

"Forty."

"But you said that two years ago when I asked."

"That's right. I always stand by my word!"

That's my story and I'm stickin to it.

In the old days, men were permitted to have more than one wife. Nasreddin Hoja himself took a second wife who was younger than the first one. One evening he came home to find them quarreling about which of them Molla loved more.

At first, Nasreddin Hoja told them he loved them both, but neither of them were satisfied with his answer. Then the older one asked, "Well, just suppose the three of us were in a boat, and it started to sink. Which of us would you try to save?"

Hoja thought for a moment, and then said to his older wife, "My dear, you know how to swim, don't you?"

OK, that's enough for now. [Pause] Oh, just one more!

One day, Nasreddin Hoja and his son went on a journey. Hoja preferred to let his son ride the donkey while he walked. Along the way, they passed some travelers.

"Look at that healthy young boy on the donkey! That's today's youth for you! They have no respect for their elders! He rides while his poor father walks!"

The words made the lad feel very ashamed, and he insisted that his father ride while he walked. So Nasreddin Hoja climbed on the donkey and the boy walked by his side. Soon they met another group.

"Well, look at that! Poor little boy has to walk while his father rides the donkey," they exclaimed.

This time, Hoja climbed onto the donkey behind his son.

Soon they met another group, who said, "Look at that poor donkey! He has to carry the weight of two people."

Hoja then told his son, "The best thing is for both of us to walk. Then no one can complain."

So they continued their journey on foot. Again they met some travelers.

"Just look at those fools. Both of them are walking under this hot sun and neither of them is riding the donkey!"

In exasperation, Hoja lifted the donkey onto his shoulders and said, "Come on, if we don't do this, it will be impossible to make people stop talking."

Ain't it the truth.