5 Stages Of Republican Scandal:
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- “I have not been informed of any investigation or that I am a target.”
- “I am cooperating fully, but this whole thing is a political ploy by the Democrats.”
- “I’m SHOCKED by the mistakes made by my subordinates.”
- “I’m deeply sorry for letting down my friends and family. I now recognize that I am an alcoholic. I will be entering rehab immediately, so I have no time for questions.”
- “Can I serve my time at Eglin Federal Penitentiary (aka Club Fed)?”
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