Old People Should Never Be Allowed To Watch Television

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Here's why:

Many assume that mature viewers, with their $2 trillion a year in spending power, would be welcomed by the networks. Well, they aren't. Advertisers want to lock in viewers' buying habits early in life, not struggle with them to change brands in their last few decades...People over 49 do not buy interesting products. They detract from the hip environment advertisers seek. The shows they watch tend not to become "water cooler" shows. They are not, as one media buyer puts it, "an opportunity audience."

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It's time for people over 49 to "take one for the team." Besides, it's really not such a terrible sacrifice; they have Sudoku now.

OK, that's worth a chuckle, but when the reporter says older viewers fantasize about handsome guys like Alan Ladd and broads like Ann Miller...well, is he thinking these viewers are, like 100 years old?