Albom: I'll take Thanksgiving
Yeah, everyone I know loves to slam Mitch Albom for his treacly Maury and Five People books. Some native Detroiters have never forgiven him for crossing the picket line during the newspaper labor strike a while back. But there's no denying that he's always been one of the best sportswriters who ever sat in a press box.
Here's his spot-on essay on Thanksgiving:
You can have Halloween, New Year's, Christmas, Fourth of July, Easter, Hanukkah and any day dedicated to presidents.I rarely say this, but "read the whole thing."You can stack them all up on one side, and the turkey and I will stand on the other.
I'll take Thanksgiving.
It is, to me, exactly what a holiday should be.
For one thing, there are no gifts. You never have to worry about what to get someone for Thanksgiving or how much to spend. There are no lectures about "greed" or "commercialization" or how we're "forgetting the spirit" of Thanksgiving. No way. The spirit of Thanksgiving is eating.
Who could forget that?
Second, it comes with football. What other holiday does that? New Year's Day? At least with Thanksgiving, you don't have a hangover.
Also, there is no "right" place to go on Thanksgiving -- except home. There is no church or synagogue. No graves that must be visited. No trekking out to watch fireworks.
You just sit on the couch, or sit at the table, and you laugh and eat and laugh and burp and -- ta-da! -- you are credited with knowing the "true meaning" of the holiday.
Also, it comes with a parade.
Come to think of it, I might just bump this to the top of the list on Thursday.
Just some weirdness from my matrimonial practice. Divorce law is a seasonal business believe it or not, with the high holy day being Thanksgiving.
That is the first holiday since the Forth of July that the family all gets together, and since it's chilly in my neck of the woods, they're all cramped indoors, with all the kids looking for non-constructive activities. And everyone is expected to attend -- everyone.
This is the time that relatives who have been avoiding each other since last Christmas are forced to break bread together. And of course, alcohol is often involved, even required.
The cook more often than not is overwhelmed by the enormity of the feast and sampling of the sherry. When it comes right down to it, unless you are a Dallas or Detroit fan, the football games aren't that compelling, which requires alcohol to get into the spirit.
I've spent at least part of five Thanksgivings bailing out clients arrested for domestic violence. Small wonder. And alcohol is usually involved.
If folks can make it through this holiday, they usually do their best to avoid me until after New Years, what with trying to "make it through the holidays" and spending all their cash on presents -- and booze, they can't afford me. I can close down the entire month of December and not miss a beat.
After New Years, having put up with their drunk spouse insulting the Aunt Beatrice or some such incident over the holidays, or having been snubbed or caught a spouse giving an unexplained gift to a member of the wrong sex, or seeing the Christmas/heating bills and arguing over someone spending too much money partying and not taking care of business, around the end of January they can come up with enough cash for a retainer.
It gets increasingly busy until Spring, when "love is in the air." Cases filed in the Fall and Winter are wrapping up and then it gets hot in the Summer, hot enough for people to get real thirsty -- and mean. I'll pick up some fun ones through about August, which is when parents realize that they can't get their kids in school without official custody papers, and the nasty letter from the Ex telling a client "Fine, you take the kids" isn't enough to satisfy the Principal.
Which takes us right up to the Wednesday before Thanksgiving -- which at my bar has traditionally been Customer Appreciation Day. This year we've got Fresh Bud Light, brewed, bottled and served the same day -- for a buck -- as well as all can beers and our frozen margaritas for a dollar too.
You bet that alcohol is involved!! ;-)